What If

im listening to Mr Stevens.... the mood he is putting me in...its as...all the emotions i have ever experienced are fragmented and are floating around me....and im just desperately trying to grasp and piece them back together...emotions are so deceitful and destructive.....But Thank God ive got a mind to will myself not to wallow in the emotional cesspool that i so often create for myself. Wont You give me a chance???? :)

Golden Pig

The Year of the Golden Pig has been good to me so far.... am having a much needed break...doing absolutely nothing for one day..well...lazing infront of the tele for e whole day is considered doing nothing....soooo therapeutic....been doing alot of thinking lately.....about careers...about life decisions....haha...why do i always let my mind wander....what is life really about....is it about chasing after phantom,transient materialistic dreams....or...sigh...i dont know....im getting sucked in.... the world is clawing in on me....Lord...i need you....Lord....be my very all....all relationships...all dreams are nothing compared to having you....be the centre of my life....Lord...i pray you remove all malice from me....Lord discipline me.....Lord be my passion once again....be evident in my life...Lord take away hypocrisy...take away all pretense from me....Lord i pray you remove from her all sickness and that you just heal her heart..make it whole again...take away all heartache....You reign in her....In all things Be Lifted HiGH..... Lord..You are the King of Kings...Lord of Lords....let my whole life be about You.... let me resonate Jesus Christ...Lord i pray that you heal the rift between us..or whatever..i dont know...Lord just Heal her.... Lord Guard my heart....Lord...i need you to direct me...Take me... Lord you are all i need.... In my life...Lord be Lifted High....In my Love...Lord be Lifted High...In my World...Lord be lifted High...teach me to love....teach me to take up my cross and follow it daily...Lord help me in my weakness...control my emotions..and feelings... Lord I love you

Deliver me!

Why does the same set of emotions run through a person time and time again? Didnt i commit it to God that such emotions would remain in place until something really sweet came along?Maybe i didnt I dont know....sharing God's word and really applying it to oneself is really different...nevermind..i will exercise my will and as 1 Corinthians 9:23 says and discipline my emotions so that i will not be disqualified after i have preached to others. Why do others say im brimming with Confidence..when obviously i dont..such irony...why do certain challenges crush my will instead of exhilarating it...why do i back down in the face of despair...how can such contrasting characteristics course through a person...Lord Where is my portion?... how can such weakness reside in a Christian....victorious christian? not completely? why am i a i dont know person...why cant i be like e great christians of old...cs lewis..brother lawrence...Lord i need your strength more then ever before...i need to trust you to deliver me...OK...:) Lord...you are the reason for my living..plllleeeassee..guide me through the rest of my life and be the confidence that you have always been to me